Mock Embryo Transfer


On Wednesday, December 29, 2010 I went into the doctor's to have the Mock Embryo Transfer done. My appointment was at 8:45 am and I was done by 9:15 am. The procedure was painless and I actually enjoyed looking at the sonogram. I became very excited and just started to wish that I had the embryos now to implant.

Which leads me to my biggest weakness...

PATIENCE

I have a very had time not getting upset or angry when something is taking a long time. I have felt like this has been a marathon on my emotions. I know that a beautiful baby is waiting at the end of this but I feel like it is taking forever (i.e. I am becoming impatient). Plus it doesn't help that it seems like everyone around me is either pregnant, has kids, or just had a baby. I try not to compare myself or get envious but deep down inside I want to be next. It is especially painful when someone is on their second child.

So, I started to look around the on the Internet for articles about patience. I found this one:

http://ezinearticles.com/?10-Ways-to-Learn-Patience-Now!&id=509437

My favorite ways from the 10 Ways to Learn Patience article are:



  • Determine the difference between the things you control, the things you can influence and the things over which you have no control or influence. Spend the bulk of your time and attention on the things which you control. This is where you can make the biggest difference. Spend your remaining time and attention on the things you can influence, knowing things may or may not go your way. Let go of the things over which you have no control or influence as any time or attention spent on these is ineffective and wasted.



  • Become your own best friend. You are the only person you will live with your entire life, so get to know yourself well and treat yourself as the valuable person you are.

5 Foods to Enhance Fertility

Here is an article that I found about 5 foods to enhance fertility:

http://www.pullingdownthemoon.com/forms/news-nutrition/5Foods-to-Enhance-Your-Fertility.pdf

The five foods are:

1. Yams

2. Nuts and seeds, including almonds, walnuts and pumpkin seeds, are a great source of fatty acids. Omega 3 and omega fatty acids are hormone regulators and vital to a woman’s fertility since a hormonal imbalance can interfere with ovulation.

3. Cruciferous vegetables, such as broccoli, cabbage and cauliflower

4. Oysters, which have the highest zinc content of any food. Zinc helps maintain a healthy menstrual cycle.

5. Berries, such as blueberries and raspberries, are exceptionally high in antioxidants, which can prevent cell damage and aging, as well as help protect eggs and sperm.

HSG

I am ready to explain the HSG exam. My HSG exam was on Monday, December 27th at 1:15 pm. I was nervous about this appointment and ended up forgetting the binder with the HSG script in it. I had to send my husband home to get it and come back. Since this is a painful procedure they asked for someone to drive you home. So, my husband was responsible for driving to and from the hospital. Before the exam, I was also required to take Doxycycline to fight off any potential infection from the tube going through my cervix.

This is by far the most uncomfortable and painful part of the process. I did this test in a hospital and I really enjoyed the staff. They were very nice and helped me through this. The pain at one point was so intense I felt like I could have fainted. I guess I got a glimpse of what child birth must be like. :o) I let you all know for sure once I have a baby.

Here is the low down. They lay you down on a table much like an OB/GYN appointment and then a speculum is placed in the vagina and an antiseptic solution is used to cleanse the vaginal canal. A narrow tube or catheter is then passed through the cervix into the uterus and an iodine-based dye is injected into the uterus and the tubes through the catheter. Then x-rays are taken of your reproductive organs. This whole test is to see if there is any blockage of the fallopian tubes. My exam looked good and the doctor didn't see any blockage. However, I am still waiting for the okay from my main doctor to proceed.

Tomorrow at 8:45 am I am going in for the mock embro transfer. I am still trying to figure out exactly what this test is. Once I figure it out I will let you all know.

Anger

So, I got very angry and upset because I have some time sensitive appointments coming up and due to the holidays I wasn't able to get an appointment at the facility that I wanted. Therefore, I will be having the HSG done at the hospital. I got really stressed out because I needed a pregnancy test done at the hospital before doing the HSG exam. The hospital needed the fertility center to send a script for an HCG blood test. I was told by a nurse that she would send the script. Well, on Thursday I called the hospital and they couldn't find the script. To make a long story short and many phone calls later I had my HCG blood test done on Sunday, December 26th at 10:30 am. My HSG appointment is scheduled for Monday, December 27th.

I was counting from day one of my period which started on December 20th. This HSG test needed to be done between 5 to 10 days from the beginning of my cycle. That is part of the reason I was stressed out because if I missed this appointment then I would need to wait another month to do the diagnostic test.

I will explain HSG in another post. I am too tried right now to explain.

12 is my lucky number!

I had my first ultrasound on Wednesday, December 22nd and I have 12 lovely eggs- 6 on each side. I am symmetrical. I love symmetry. This is very exciting because they want you to have greater than 10 eggs. I was very excited during this appointment. My hormone levels are good too. I had a blood draw before the ultra sound.

Let me tell you, by the end of the IVF process I will never be afraid to go to a GYN appointment again. So, many people will be down in that area by the time I have a baby that I will just not care anymore. No more feeling embarrassed. :o)

Bloodwork & Other tests

On Saturday, December 11th I had bloodwork done. I was very scared about the bloodwork but it ended up being okay. They took three vials of blood.

This morning I am preparing for my transvaginal ultrasound exam. The exam is performed for the viewing of the uterine and ovarian anatomy, including a count of small resting (antral) follicles also helps to evaluate reproduction.

I will then have another exam in a few days.

This is a beautiful present for Christmas. I am so very happy.

Merry Christmas my dear blog readers.

Doctor's Appointment

Well, my part is finally here! I went to the doctor on November 1, 2010 and I have a to do list that is very long. I need to send documents from my other doctors to the IVF doctor before we can begin. November was an emotional month for me because I had multiple deaths in my family. I couldn't really focus on the baby while I was mourning those deaths.

Halloween Costume For Baby

I love Halloween and I just couldn't resist looking for baby costumes. How cute is this pumpkin one from Pottery Barn Kids?



Here is the link if you are interested: http://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/pumpkin-costume/.

A Prayer to Take Home

At church, two weekends ago we were given "A Prayer to Take Home" in the bulletin. The prayer started out:

I thank Thee, God that I have lived
In this great world and known its many joys;
I made this passage bold and large because I am so grateful for my life. I am grateful for all the experiences that make up my life. I am grateful for all of the good that is on the way. I am grateful to have lived my life. I love it. I love even the bad parts of my life because it has made me into the person that I am today. I am a kind soul and I truly respect this life and I believe I understand it too! I have been given the gifts of being alive and I know that a baby is in my future. I pray for a healthy baby and I pray for strength, peace, and that I am a wonderful mother to my child.

Babble

I just found this website and will start reading it for fun: http://www.babble.com/.

Babble for a new generation of parents.

Relaxing Vacation

I apologize for my lack of posts these past few weeks. We went on vacation to get some much needed R&R. This year has been an unforgettable year so far. I am getting a little tired of giving the shots every other day to my hubby. I think the hubby is getting tired of them too. While we were on vacation we forgot to give one shot. Ugh!

I have been keeping myself busy during this time of waiting. It has been a little difficult at times because it feels like everyone around me is pregnant. I am sure it is just my perspective because they have something that I want and that is a baby. Maybe I am a little jealous. I felt this same way when everyone around me was married. I was the last of my group of girlfriends to get married.

I continue to tell myself to think positively. Everything is going to work out beautifully in the end. It always does. Life has given me so many gifts.

A little update...

We are almost finished with 1 month of shots and only 5 more months to go. I feel comfortable giving shots now.

We have also started to do financial/family planning this month. For instance, we got a life insurance packet in the mail and are thinking about a will.

This is all very exciting and just continues to be part of our journey to parenthood.

Have a great weekend!

1st HCG Shot

Guess what? Sunday, August 1, 2010 marks a special day in my life. I gave my first shot to my husband. He has to do the shots too! I was so scared and I felt like I was going to faint but I got through it.

Happy Days!


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Sure Shot

Well, my insurance is going to pay for nothing. Yep...you heard me right they are going to pay for absolutely zero of our expenses because infertility isn't covered in my plan. The medicine and injections are going to start the first week of August (hopefully). I am eagerly waiting to get this process started.


I have started to read Parents magazine and I am considering getting a subscription. Does anyone else read this magazine?


I read about "Sure Shot" and I thought it was a good idea. Especially, since I love to organize this idea is perfect for me.


Ask your pediatrician for a copy of your child's vaccination records (a.k.a a shot card). You want to make sure that your child's doctor reviews this each visit and carry it with you when you travel.

Dealing with Insurance


This month is going to be full of insurance stuff. We are currently working with an office manager at the doctor's office to secure our insurance for the expensive drugs. Unfortunately, she has been difficult to get a hold of. Therefore, I am dedicating this month to mastering the insurance battle. I am sure it is going to be a battle. Isn't dealing with insurance such a pain?


I will keep you posted about my progress.
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Living In The Moment


I am learning to live in the moment.

I am learning to keep my mind filled with positive thoughts.
I am watching Funniest Home Videos and sitting beside my husband right now. I am grateful.

Emotional Rollercoaster

I have been on an emotional roller coaster since learning the news about IVF.

My stomach is in knots most days. I haven't been able to really function. It is always on my mind. The "what ifs" the guilt and the questions.


I wish I could make it all stop. But it is just the beginning. I wish I could live a "normal" life and go through this process. But I think I gave up being "normal" a long time ago. I am seeing a counselor and that is helping. However, I am struggling with staying positive. I feel so negative, so helpless, and so not myself anymore. This is by far my hardest struggle of my life. From the time I was a little girl I knew that I wanted to be a mother. All of my Barbies were pregnant and I would pretend to be pregnant by stuffing my shirts to make a pregnant belly. My poor parents where probably horrified! Hahaha. When someone would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up? My response was a mother and the president.

I dearly hope my dream of being a mother comes true. I will cherish every moment with my child. I know in my heart that I will make a wonderful mother. I have such a big heart! I know I do. But I have to say that the anger and resentment flowing through my veins recently has made me question my loving heart. It has made me question everything about myself.



I am going to end with a positive thought. I know that I will be a wonderful mother regardless of how I become a mother whether it is with IVF or adoption. I was built and destined to be a mother. This much I know is true.

Taggies

More items to add to my future wish list for the baby.

Isn't this the cutest elephant?

Retail cost is $20 and I will be buying this item new when the time comes.


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I also like this blanket too.
Retail cost is $24.95 and this is also an item I would purchase brand new.


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If you are interested, here is a link to the Taggies Shop: http://www.taggies.com/cgi-bin/estore/list_catalog.

Mountain of Balloons

I think this is such a cute idea for a child's birthday or for someone young at heart!


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Make a mountain of balloons. An hour or so before your birthday child awakes, inflate a bunch of balloons and fill his or her bedroom floor with a rainbow of balloons.

I just loved this idea.

Planning

The one good part of the IVF process that I am going to enjoy is being able to plan for the baby. Currently, I am searching for all of the products that I want to get. I will not buy any of this stuff until I am pregnant but it can't hurt to dream and plan while I have the luxury of time and money. I know both of these will be very limited once the baby arrives.

The first item on my wish list is a Bumbo Seat.

Parents rave about the Bumbo Seat, saying that their babies really enjoy being able to sit up and look around from a fairly young age.


Pros

Allows baby to sit up and see what's going on at an early age.
Easily washable.
Portable and lightweight.

Cons
Baby may not enjoy the seat once he or she is mobile.
Older babies can arch their backs and tip out of the seat.
Some packaging shows Bumbo Seats being used on tables or counters, which is not safe.
Costs a lot for a simple baby seat.

Retail cost is around $40 but I plan to purchase a used aqua colored one from eBay.


Kindle

I love my Kindle it is one of the best inventions in my opinion. But I keep telling my husband that I want an iPad too. A nurse, the other day, even said that I could go into sales at Amazon because I was so convincing about purchasing a Kindle.



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While I was in the doctor's office, I whipped out my Kindle and browsed for books about IVF and I found this one:

I liked the book because she writes and communicates like you are a close friend and she completely understands the anxiety and emotions surrounding IVF.

Last night, I did make the mistake of reading it before bed and I was wired. I couldn't get to sleep for over an hour. It was as if I consumed five cups of coffee. Note to self do not read IVF books before bed.

This book fulfills my first item on my to do list.



Compensated Links Used In Post

To Do List

I am a list person and I love being organized. Organization equals peace of mind for me.


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First, on my to do list for IVF is:

1. Learn everything I can about the IVF process.

I am completely new to this. I have known other couples who did IVF but I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would be joining their camp. But I am here now so I am going to make the best of it.

The Appointment

We had a doctor's appointment today to determine our pregnancy options.

The drive to the appointment was difficult. I could feel myself clinching the steering wheel the entire one hour drive!

What did we find out?

That we will need to do IVF in order to get pregnant. This one statement has changed everything for me and us.

And so began my emotional roller coaster about this process.



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This blog is intended to be a journal for me to remember this chapter in our lives and also to share our journey with others. I sincerely hope that this blog can be a place of comfort and joy for all to read. This is just yet another chapter in my life and it all began with one appointment on June 3, 2010.
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